The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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