You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She said her name was "party"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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