I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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