i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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