At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
