God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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