Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
