ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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