Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
