You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
