His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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