things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
