this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
