College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You made out with two different species that night
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
