I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
