My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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