please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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