By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
