Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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