I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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