Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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