New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
