Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
