But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
