garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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