people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
