Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
