I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
