Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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