so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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