I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
