Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
