Plan B is the new Plan A
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
