FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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