i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
