Someone shit on the floor
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
