It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
