I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
