I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
