Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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