i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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