I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
