Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
