I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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