I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize