Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
