Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
