Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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