He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
