U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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