glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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