hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
NoShamevember. You game?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
