The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
