what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
its liver damage thursday
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