i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
