I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize