Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
