I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
