I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
