We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
a search helicopter?!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
