i permit you to call me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
