I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The ass gains better be worth it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
