i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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